On finding a hint.

As an Art graduate the assumption is that I should know why I produce. Or maybe that’s my own assumption. Whether my difficulties with being an art practitioner come from my taught awareness of other people’s expectations of visual art or my own expectations of what I think art should be, I’m not sure.  The fact is I don’t know why I have this desire to produce and I certainly don’t know what to do with it. Most of the time I’m not even producing anything so wrapped up am I in trying to do it the right way. It goes like this; a stimulus, an idea, research, a beginning and a final piece. Doesn’t it? Aren’t we meant to be trying to resolve something, even when we don’t mean to? A lot of the time I struggle with the echoing knowledge that really, when it comes down to it, my practice has very little to say or point out that other people will be interested in, or that other people haven’t said or highlighted before. I am constricted by my worry that there has to be a point to it all, and an innovative one at that, but if there is I can’t for the life of me pin it down.  

I clearly don’t have a clue. So I’m trying to find one. Just a small clue will be fine. I reason that a good way to understand why I have a desire to practice art is to examine it. To lay out what I see, read, visit, produce, and muse about and somewhere in there I will find a way to approach my practice that doesn’t fill me with the fear of expectations or explanations.